"purple" by Aaliyah

i would tell you she was so stunning i could not look at her.

i would hear from her from time to time how much i looked like her but seeing it was its own special thing. the way we used our hands when we spoke, how we shifted all our weight to the right leg when we lied, how our eyes would be the first thing you noticed on our face.

to hear it all your life is a novelty but to see it was something i’ll always cherish. the venue was a hotel. i’d say it was alright, nothing to write home about but it did the job well enough. funny enough, a sentiment i’ve held about her for quite some time. nonetheless, she stood out amongst the crowd as always. why wouldn’t she? tall and elegant. the deep purple of her dress made her skin shine like bronze. a vision of a bride. she looked absolutely regal.

god knows how many told her where her looks belonged and it was always far away from this desolate place but my mother was never one for risk.

she could have only done what she knew and for that i cannot blame her. with soundless steps, i cannot blame her. with serrated blade in bloodied fist, i cannot blame her. ruby red smeared on gaudy gold, i cannot blame her. with slit throat and lifeless eyes, i cannot blame her. i only hold her as the life leaves her. i can only turn the blade warm with her on myself. we leave as we once met, bloody and afraid. i give her, the first love i’ve ever known, the only mercy i know and i pray the lord gives us keep.

(Instagram: @i7s___aminaaaa)